where is the rainbow

Exactly 12 months ago, I was enjoying my life with my friends, friends that i consider close enough to make me realise there are 7 colors in a white color. Today, I changed. No, life has changed. Things are no longer the same, I'll be gone for a year again in 2 weeks. I just asked myself what have I done for this summer? Sadly my answer was, nothing. I made things worst, did not meet up with most of my friends and therefore barriers are created. I had a hard time last year when i just got back to aus, i have to separate with my friends, had many verbal promises on what we were going to do when i come back. Until I found you, things changed. I do not know its a good change or bad change. I found back the 7 colors in the rainbow even its winter when the sun sets at 5. I think i made a mistake, a mistake that has no turning back. It sounds ridiculous but I consider it a serious mistake i kind of regretted. I was too overconfident with what i own and have, in this case my best friends. I did not keep in touch with them for the whole year not even msn. I assume once we were best friends, we will be best friends forever. No, i learnt something. Everything needs maintainance, including friendship, relationship and familyship. I have nothing to fall back to now, I guess i invested too much on relationship and neglected the other 2. I changed, many things changed, i felt like a stranger everywhere i go. Everything is like a stranger to me now. I'll be flying back to aus again in 2 weeks, the same life will be restarted again but now, I'm quite alone. Back to a place I once knew, getting through a winter without a rainbow. Why am I in this stage of life now, is it just a temporary downturn? Will things be the same again as before? Or there is a new direction waiting for me? This is me now, writing this and not making use of my summer holidays before i fly back again. So where is my rainbow now? I can only see one white color, a fading white color.