where is the rainbow

Exactly 12 months ago, I was enjoying my life with my friends, friends that i consider close enough to make me realise there are 7 colors in a white color. Today, I changed. No, life has changed. Things are no longer the same, I'll be gone for a year again in 2 weeks. I just asked myself what have I done for this summer? Sadly my answer was, nothing. I made things worst, did not meet up with most of my friends and therefore barriers are created. I had a hard time last year when i just got back to aus, i have to separate with my friends, had many verbal promises on what we were going to do when i come back. Until I found you, things changed. I do not know its a good change or bad change. I found back the 7 colors in the rainbow even its winter when the sun sets at 5. I think i made a mistake, a mistake that has no turning back. It sounds ridiculous but I consider it a serious mistake i kind of regretted. I was too overconfident with what i own and have, in this case my best friends. I did not keep in touch with them for the whole year not even msn. I assume once we were best friends, we will be best friends forever. No, i learnt something. Everything needs maintainance, including friendship, relationship and familyship. I have nothing to fall back to now, I guess i invested too much on relationship and neglected the other 2. I changed, many things changed, i felt like a stranger everywhere i go. Everything is like a stranger to me now. I'll be flying back to aus again in 2 weeks, the same life will be restarted again but now, I'm quite alone. Back to a place I once knew, getting through a winter without a rainbow. Why am I in this stage of life now, is it just a temporary downturn? Will things be the same again as before? Or there is a new direction waiting for me? This is me now, writing this and not making use of my summer holidays before i fly back again. So where is my rainbow now? I can only see one white color, a fading white color.

lameness

how lame can a person be...

how lame can 2 person be...

how lame can 2 person be at the same time...

thats why we're sisters!!

feeling weak

I feel that fitness is no longer part of my life.

Sigh, this suck.

Yo check this out

I didnt know the condom brand 'Ansell' manufacture other rubber products other than condoms. I know a popular term condom makers like to use: 'enhanced pleasure'. Since they have the technology to make you feel so comfortable, i recommend that you guys use this rubber glove brand :) should feel the enhanced pleasure as well. Aheem i wonder if Durex have rubber gloves too

I've been sleeping in nowadays and having dreams that i dont remember after waking up. I guess its a good thing cos happy ones make feel disappointed as its not real where as sad ones only make me feel depressed.

Its good friday today and i'm wondering what australians do during good fridays... making love at home? Cos all major shopping malls are closed.

Anyway i went out today. Although its just an ordinary 'Lets go for a movie' outing, it is a special day to me. I think it is not what you do and where you go that matters, its who you do it with.

helpless

I really wanna share this with anyone, literally ANYONE but i know i cant and i dont feel comfortable telling out though. If u understand what i'm trying to say...

It may be embarrassing to say but i've never felt this way for a long time and i think i've forgotten how it feels like to be pain. However this is a little different... i never in my life gotten myself into the pair of shoes i'm wearing now. I dont feel comfortable wearing it cos of certain reasons but i just like wearing it. Its just an ordinary decent pair of shoes but i have this very special feeling when i wear it. I dont know why was i feeling that way or was i wrong having that kind of feeling and i questioned myself many many times whether or not i should walk my life barefooted. I was wondering why are all these things in my mind. Well, i've now got my answer. Thats love.

Now that its torn, I am torn. I know its not okay, I'm not okay as well. I really wanna know whats going on but i have the feeling i'm just not the one. I feel like i'm not in the right position to ask her why. Am i the right one to repair it. I feel so helpless, whateva the problems, i just want her to be happy, then i'm good already.

Currently listening to All good things (come to an end) and wondering whether its true. everytime i feel close to it, i'm actually still faraway... What can i do to get closer?

Something worth remembering

I miss you

ryn wong miss me

i miss ryn wong

x)

rock climbing

i went rock climbing at HardRock :)

I wasn't in a very good mood. Pictures speaks more than words.
Take a look at the graph.
Although i admit that my drawing is far better than those historical Italian painters, i hope u understand what i'm trying to draw. Basically my mood was at its lowest during this weekend.


I was lying on my bed listening to songs... too lazy to even make a damn move to go pee in the toilet. Until nico called, i realise i was late for rock climbing.

i lost my head

So there were about 15 of us. Lol we took the group package where we need a minimum of 10 ppl in the group which cost us 18 bucks per person. Alot cheaper compared to the individual price of 28 bucks. Everytime when i pass by CBD and look into HardRock, it doesn't look like a big deal to me until today when i stood just below the walls, i was quite afraid. It was considered freaking high already.

There are many different levels. The easier ones have alot of stones where u can step on where as the hard ones are the ones with less stones where u have to use your strengh to support most of your body weight.

There is this freaking sexy equipment thingy called the harness. Sorry no pics but u can see me wearing in the pics up there, its like a g-string and it really squeezed the balls out me. It freaking hurts especially when you're coming down. Lol there may b no pain for the girls la.

sorry i covered my face cos i'm showing the expression of a boy kena squeeze at the balls. Paiseh la >.<

the shuai ge with long hair (left) and mei nu with short hair (right)

However rock climbing didn't cure my pms-ness. Haihs i would have enjoyed myself more if i wasn't having 'period'. However, I got the 'medicine' at night when i get home. I'll do it in another post.

signing off now :)